Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Mentor Mom Panel

A few weeks ago, we had the privilege of hearing some sage wisdom from our dear mentor moms. They've been in our shoes and offered honest reflections on parenting little people. We want to thank them for their openness and willingness to give us a peek into their mothering journeys. Without further ado, let's review some of the nuggets they shared.

There is no recording of this meeting in order to allow our mentor moms complete freedom to be honest! Hopefully my notes come close to helpful. ;)

 On Personal Care/Staying Grounded
  • With kids at home all day and no break or quiet time to pray, jumping on the trampoline for 20 minutes provides exercise and a space to talk to God.
  • Be diligent about quiet time, for you and the kids. Reading some Oswald Chambers and Jesus Calling  helps keep the connection with God.
  • Involvement with neighborhood Bible study or Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) helps keep the focus on a relationship with God and connection with friends (plus, childcare!)
  • Hire help!
  • Jog and be alone with your thoughts
  • A co-op with a group of friends--rotate childcare with four friends and you find yourself with three mornings a month all to yourself! 
On Romance
  • Ground rules for time together: no talk of kids or schedules, just focus on each other
  • Join a small group with families
  • Two words: hot tub.
  • Date night: make it so routine, even your kids expect it
  • Ask single friends to babysit
  • Volunteer in ministry together. This provides the unique opportunity to see each other develop gifts and affirm each other
  • Marriage retreats/weekends
  • Couples groups: find your people! They get you through!
On Showing Love to Your Husband
  • In the morning, ask your husband what his day looks like. Then, follow up at night. It shows interest and consideration.
  • Say "thank you" for things. Offer kindness and gratitude
  • Greet him at the door with a kiss
  • Give him affirmation every day. When you compliment him, watch his reaction. They thrive on it.
  • Practice the "six second kiss"
  • Practice sensitivity to negotiating transition times: when he comes home or when you leave, be intentional about transitioning well
On In-Laws
  • Honor different family traditions
  • Get to know them individually; you'll likely get a different picture and see a different side than who you thought they were
  • Include the in-laws/parents in activities with your family other than childcare
  • Gather both sides of the family together for the holidays. The kids get both sets around and love it. Having everyone together is a gift to them.
  • Model love and family: little eyes are watching
  • Manage your expectations. They're less likely to disappoint you if you recalibrate.
  • Get to know them and hear their stories to understand where they're coming from. This develops compassion.
  • Honor them by visiting them or hosting them (if they're from out of town)
On Favorite Traditions
  •  Going on "trips:" pack up the family, make a big circle around town, end up at the Holiday Inn by your house to spend a weekend swimming in the pool and ordering room service. 
On Nurturing Faith
  • Play worship music
  • Pray at meals and bedtime
  • Keep faith present in daily life
  • Be authentic and pray in the hard moments
  • Pray with your husband once a day, no matter when you can fit it in
On Siblings as Friends
  • Maybe they wont' be friends when they're young, but don't give up! Chances are, they'll be good friends when they grow up
  • Play "safe" games where everyone participates and the family is a team (i.e. no one is "against" each other)
  • Don't compare them. 'Nuff said.
  • Have the kids share bedrooms. They have to work things out and make boundaries, but they also have fun
  • Celebrate their individual personalities and differences
On Going Back in Time and Changing One Thing
  • Extend grace. "You did the best you could with what you knew. When you knew more, you did better."
  • Take advantage of opportunities of the moment when they come
  • You have a new chance every day. Don't be guilt-ridden. Move on.
  • KEEP THE MARRIAGE CENTRAL