Marisa Gronholz:: God-Given Gifts in Parenting

Gifts. 

If you really think about it, they're pretty important. They're uniquely ours and drive our passions, yet how many of us have forgotten to consider them in the flurry of motherhood? Last Tuesday, we had the privilege of hearing from UPC's own Marisa Gronholz about identifying our God-given gifts and how they impact our parenting. Her heart for this message was obvious and we're so grateful for her wisdom to help get the conversation going.

Click HERE for the recording of this talk. And for those of you skimming this during a work or toddler break, a summary is included below. Enjoy!

Another word for "gifts" is "strengths." Strengths = something that makes you feel strong. When you're devoting energy to a strength/gift, you get lost in it. Time flies and you feel joy. On the flip side, a weakness makes you feel weak, bored, and not present. 

//How can identifying your strengths impact your parenting? 

//Think of something you're good at. How does it make you feel?

If we're working out of our strengths, we don't get tired in the same way. We feel ALIVE. We have more left in the tank for our kids. Plus, they see us using and getting excited about our gifts, which is a good model for them.

//What has God created me to do so I can reflect Jesus Christ (and not be completely drained/burnt out/exhausted)? 

Marisa cited Luke 10 and the story of Mary and Martha. Mary kicks back while Martha resents having to do all the work. Though Martha wasn't out of line in wanting to properly host Jesus, He gently corrected her and invited her to slow down. He basically said "there is a time and place for this, but it's not now." But we can look at this story and accept Jesus' invitation to:

• Wonder: about ourselves and our circumstances. Where do we need to abandon the demand to "dot it all" and instead live into our strengths right here, right now in this new story that Jesus is inviting us to live into?
• Wholeness: Be present. Be plugged in. You gain so much more.
• Walk into a new way of being: "in balance" vs. "imbalance"
• Worship: living into our stengths will lead us to worship with the gifts we've been given.

Discussion Questions:

1. Check in with yourself about your role as a mother right now. If you are struggling and saying to yourself, "I'm starting to hate the mother I've become," then ask yourself "Who is the mother that you were?" When mothering was at its best, what were the activities that felt empowering and fulfilling? What were you doing at those times?
2. If that feels too daunting, just focus on a moment in parenting. What has been a moment in your parenting where things have gone so well, you felt that you were born to be a parent?
3. Spend a few minutes thinking about the rest of your life--work, church, friendship, marriage, other relationships, volunteer activities. Think specifically about this last week. What was energizing to you? Life-giving? What left you feeling awkward, exhausted, burnt out?
4. Pray and thank God for the gifts and strengths that He has given you. Ask God to continue to reveal what thos strengths are and to show ways of how they might be used for his glory. 

Marisa is available to spend time discerning strengths with you or partnering in prayer.

marisag@upc.org  

Laurie Wheeler:: Embracing Rest

Wow, where did January come from? Weren't we JUST sitting together in Geneva, embarking on the holiday season and praying for rest during the crazy that can be Christmas? Well, I hope you survived, even thrived, while finishing out 2015. In the flurry of it all, this post was placed on the back-burner and is going up a bit late, but perhaps it can help you reflect on how the holidays went for you and hopefully you still find it encouraging and applicable for any hectic time of life.

Note: There is no recording of this talk in order for Laurie to be at her most honest, so hopefully these notes will do her justice!

On December 1st, UPC's own Laurie Wheeler shared about how to find rest during Christmas and this chaotic season of life while facing the pressure to "do it all."

As moms, we believe the lie that it is our job to generate a meaningful and memorable Christmas or else our kids' lives are basically ruined. It's a seasonal fallacy that plays into the everyday myth we already frequently hear about salvation overall-- we are responsible for our own salvation and a meaningful + memorable life.
Oh, the pressure.

Alternatively, the season of Advent sends a different message. Advent is a gift from the ancient church that rescues us from this false story of Christmastime and restores the true story of Christmas--God's salvation for all of us. It focuses on the real story of what God's doing in our lives.

Christmas: generating life, consuming, doing
Advent: receiving life, fasting, watching in hope
Christmas: the time of year when we have no time left...the end of our calendar with no more days/hours/minutes to spare.
Advent: the beginning of the Christian calendar...observing the beginning and waiting in expectation.

Laurie was adamant in saying she wasn't suggesting we go out and "learn Advent." She encouraged us to look for one small suggestion or practice to make this season more real to us.

• Recognize where and how Jesus is already
• Watch for Him in what is already there

Every year, the message of Christmas is that the "bad things" stay out of the holiday and only the "good things" belong in Christmastime. But it turns out the story of Jesus was not a Christmas story.  It was full of imperfect conditions and inconvenient situations and seemingly backwards logic. Which makes it a perfect Advent story. In the midst of it all, Christ came to save us all.

So look for it, for Him. Receive it gently. Jesus renews and regenerates in the midst of it all. That's where we see Him and truly find joy.

During this season, a lot of us struggle with what Christmas always was and generating the new + the perfect. But pause. Look for Him now.

Rejoice by:

• Repent: turn away from our culture's lie that YOU generate Christmas
• Resist: refuse to accept the pressure to generate so you can pay attention to what already is. 
• Receive: receive Jesus in the day.

He loves to show up in the mess, the unfinished, the delight, the awe, the broken, the imperfect, the wonder. If we're looking.