Mentor Mom Panel:: The Scoop

I'd like to begin by saying that we have quite a group of mentor moms in our midst this year at MOPS, am I right? These women give of their time and seasoned wisdom every meeting, encouraging and empathizing, relating and praying for all of us. We're so grateful they all find this experience worthwhile, because they are invaluable. 

On that note, let's recap our Mentor Mom Panel from November 17th and revisit the gems they shared. 

On marriage:

• Remember to play games + have fun--this is for the long haul, so try to enjoy each other!
• Three words: Hot Tub Time. In the morning, in the evening, doesn't matter. Relax.
• Date night. 'Nuff said.
• Commit to a small group or some other community together
• This offers accountability in your relationship, people who know you and see you as a couple.
• Sit amongst fellow folks in your phase of life and the bonus? Your kids have other "parents" invested in their lives, too.

On In-laws:

• Manage your expectations to not feel cheated out of the in-laws you wanted or, well, expected. Enjoy what you can when you can. 
• Understand that "this is her way"
• Love them the way that they are, including (or especially) their differences from your own parents.
• Share holidays so no one is pulled in different directions. Maybe host? They come to you! :)

On Rest:

• Sometimes the most restful thing to do is get out. Give the kids a treat to enjoy the silence or complete a conversation with a friend.  
• Give your kids an early bedtime. Enjoy your evening. 
• A "quiet time" for all. Every day.
• Fit it in, whatever it is. This can mean combining some things. Want to exercise and also find time to pray? Exercise while praying.   

On Favorite Traditions w/ Young Kids:

• "Trips" in your own neighborhood. Go the long way to the local hotel with a pool! Make it an adventure!
• Birthday party for Jesus on Christmas Eve (buy things cheap after Christmas for next year's party!) + St. Val party on Valentine's Day  
• Fun breakfast on Saturdays to celebrate the end of the week 

On Helping Their Kids Be Friends: 

• "I'm not going to drive you to the hospital if you fight."
• No hitting.
• Figure out who's the agitator.
• It happens later in life, so look toward the future!
• It comes + goes, ladies.
• You're not a bad parent if they're not.
• Some are so different, they're just not as close. And that's okay.
• Get them on the same "team" to do dishes, etc. Siblings unite!

On 1 Thing They've Learned w/ Young Kids:

• Admit when you've made a mistake. 
• There's such a thing as "good enough" parenting. Don't be so hard on yourself, give yourself a break, and for goodness' sake--let 'em watch TV if you need to make dinner!
• Focus more on their feelings vs. their behavior    

 Thanks again, mentor moms, for sitting with us in the trenches while also gently reminding us of the light at the end of the tunnel. We very much appreciate you.  
 

Embrace Rest:: Here's How

Embrace Rest:

• Share the gift of rest with someone else. Give them a three minute shoulder rub.
• Take a 20 min nap!
• Take 10 min alone to list your joys.
• Find a mom with a baby in your meeting and offer to hold the door, throw something away, or even hold the baby for a minute .
• Find somewhere unique to rest and do nothing. Post a picture of your resting spot.
• Do you love to read, draw, chat with friends? Carve out some time to do that this weekend!
• In the middle of a busy day, drink a bottle of water and spend of few minutes letting your body soak it up.
• Breathe deeply! In through your nose, out through your mouth and focus on breathing for the next 30 seconds. Thank God for a moment of rest.
• Focus on one thing you are incredibly thankful for. Thank God for this one element in your life; don’t make a list – simply thank him for this single powerful blessing and rest in the graciousness.
• Grab some lotion and give a friend a hand massage!
• Reading a good book? Tell someone about it.

Big or small, find ways to take a minute for yourself.  Whatever you find restful (which might not be "restful" at all--taking a walk or other kinds of exercise can absolutely satisfy your need for rest!), we encourage you to be intentional and seek that out today. Good luck!

Zach Brittle::Minding the P's and Q's of Your Marriage

//Remember: if you missed the meeting, or simply want to hear those wise words again, click on the link to your right ("UPC Audio Player") to find the speaker's talk. Happy listening!

WELL. I'd say our speaker kick-off last Tuesday got us off to a good start. Zach Brittle threw us into the deep end of the pool by discussing marriage and the way we look at those precious relationships. He challenged us to consider the meaning of marriage (with the help of the letter "P") through the lens of these three elements:

• Phases
• What phase are you in? What phases have you been in and how did you come through them? And where do you need permission, to argue, to dream, to lean in right now? And who needs to give that to you? God, your husband, or some other authority? 
• Perspective
• Where do you need to reset your perspective? To step back and see the bigger picture? You've been through phases before and they've passed, so you need to actively pursue a new perspective with the experience of the past that it will pass.
• Processes 
• It's important to be building processing skills, like learning how to ask questions and turn toward each other to build your friendship. How are you building your friendship? How are you managing conflict? What are you aware of in yourself? What's one thing you can change? What processes do you have in place that allow you to dream?

That's a lot of questions. But hopefully he prompted us to look deeper into our marriages and examine these important pieces.

And finally, my favorite quote Zach gave us about parenthood/marriage/life:

"It doesn't get better, it just gets different. It's always this."--Zach Brittle

Amen, brother.

Resources

The Relationship Alphabet by Zach Brittle

Intimate Mystery by Dan Allender

Mr. Peanut by Adam Ross

What Makes Love Last by John Gottman

 

Contact Zach Brittle

We're ba-ack!

Greetings, MOPS Mamas!

Here we are, starting our 2015-2016 season of Tuesday togetherness and hot breakfast. Hallelujah.

Please, take a moment to familiarize yourself with this blog and click around the pages. Within them, you'll find everything you need to know about breakfast, MOPPETS, and your faithful steering team! Bookmark this space for future reference as a reminder of meeting dates and other useful details.
You can also check back after our meetings to find speaker recaps and notes, resources and discussion questions. If you "follow by email" (look to the left!), new posts will be sent directly to your inbox as they happen. 

We're so glad to be in community with you this year and look forward to embracing rest, noticing goodness, and celebrating lavishly together!

Summer Play Dates at the Park!

As our MOPS year has come to an end, we look forward to a summer of play dates!

Each month we will meet at a new park from 10-11:30am and enjoy the (fingers crossed) sunshine. Look for the hot pink/black tablecloth, and a host to greet you. Also, feel free to bring your friends who may want to check out MOPS. It's the perfect setting to get to know other moms in an informal way and see what we're all about before the fall.

See you there!

JUNE:: Matthews Beach

49th Ave NE & NE 93rd St

 June 16

June 30

JULY:: Soundview Playfield

9001-9509 15th Ave NW

 July7

July 21

AUGUST:: Northacres Park & Spray Park

12718 1st Ave N

August 4

August 18

SEPTEMBER:: Maple Leaf Park

1020 NE 82nd St

September 1

September 15

September 29  

Growing Your Child's Faith with Jan Myers and Julie Thomas

April 21, 2015

HE loves your children. HE does the work!

Isaiah 46:3-4

“Listen to me, descendants of Jacob,

            all you who remain in Israel.

I have cared for you since you were born.

            Yes, I carried you before you were born.

I will be your God throughout your lifetime-

            until your hair is white with age.

I made you, and I will care for you.

            I will carry you along and save you.”

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (KJV)

Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old they won’t be lost. (The Message)

B –I-B-L-E

B is for books!

See below for a list of favorites from Jan and Julie and for additions from MOPS participants!

I is for Intercession (prayer!)

            Daily talking to Jesus…”Thank you for the swings at the park”….”please help me find my blankie”….”help the person in the ambulance get better soon.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-8 (The Message): “Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.”

B- Bedtime

Put Jesus into your bedtime routine, through prayer, song sayings, and listening to your child (this is when teens talk!)

L is for Listen to music!

At home, in the car, during small group…dance along, too!

E is for Engage in fellowship

Family camp, Vacation Bible School, small group Bible studies, Church….seeing faith outside the family helps it grow even stronger.

Suggested Resources from Jan and Julie:

•       Hide ‘em in your Heart Lullabies:   Sparrow 2006, Betsy Hernandez

•       Hide ‘em in your Heart (Vol 1&2) Steve Green (CBD.com)

•       www.donutman.com (also on iTunes)

•       http://www.janaalayra.com/  (mp3)

•       Veggie Tales (soundtracks for earlier Bible-story videos)

•       maryricehopkins.com

•       Maranatha! Kids:  “First Sunday sing along” (itunes and CBD.com)

•       Dandelion:   Don Freeman

•       Andy and the Lion:  James Daugherty

•       Mike Mulligan and his Steam shovel

•       Runaway Bunny:  Margaret Wise Brown

•       The Mousery:  Charlotte Pomerantz

•       Tell me something happy….Deb Gliori (can be found in The Family Bedtime Treasury with CD: Tales for Sleepy Times and Sweet Dreams…which has other great bedtime books and comes with a CD of classical music)

•       Jesus is With me:  Debby Anderson

•       Eager Reader Bible

•       Jesus Calling (kid version)

•       Kid Adventure Bible (early reader)

•       Jesus Storybook Bible

•       Read-Aloud Bible Stories Vol 1-4

•       Thrivingfamily.com/picture-books

•       http://www.biblicalparenting.org/parentingtips.asp   (emailed tips)

More favorites from MOPS moms at this meeting:

Books:

•       Honey for a Child’s Heart (catalogue of great books for kids of all ages)

•       We’re Going on a Bear Hunt

•       Anything with illustrator Fujikawa

•       Veggie Tales books

•       Praying With Color (coloring book)

•       Action Bible

•       Curious George

•       Graeme Base – The Eleventh Hour

•       Percy Jackson Series

•       Magic Treehouse

•       Kids Life Application Bible

•       Goodnight Moon

•       The Night You Were Born

•       Busy Kitty (etc for other animals too)

•       Ruffus Goes to School

•       The Gruffalo

•       Rhyme Bible Storybook for Toddlers

•       Little Golden Books (esp. Friendly Tales by Margaret Wise Brown)

•       Knuffle Bunny

•       Bad Kitty by Nick Bruel

•       Eric Carle Books

•       Madeline Books

•       Richard Scarry books

•       Princess Parables (Zondervan)

Music:

·      Jazz for Kids: Sing, Clap, Wiggle and Shake (available on iTunes)

·      Alphabet Parade (CD)

·      Hide ‘em in Your Heart (Vol 1 & 2)

·      Nicole Nordeman CD’s

·      Water Deep – Enter the Worship Circle

·      Hillsong

·      Raffi

·      Francisco Ortego

·      Putumayo Kids CDs

·      Spirit 105.3 (radio)

·      Slugs and Bugs

·      UPC Daycamp 2014 Soundtrack

·      Pandora stations: Hillsong United and This Little Light of Mine

·      All Souls Church (West Seattle) music

Apps, etc:

·      Bookbub – deals on Kindle books

·      Common Sense Media – website to screen books, movies, video games

·      Pray as you go (app)

·      Holy Bible (app) for kids (Bible for Kids)

·      Daniel Tiger (TV show)

Krista Law - Balancing Motherhood and Other Pursuits

Krista Law, LMHC, returned this year to discuss maintaining balance in our busy lives. We had the pleasure of hearing from Krista, who is a Christian counselor for both individuals and couples, twice last year, on the topics of anxiety and depression and identifying your family’s values (see blog entry for May 13, 2014).  You can learn more about Krista a www.kristalaw.com and www.3therapistswalkintoablog.com.

Krista shared an example of imbalance from her own experience: After giving birth to her first child, she found herself completely isolated during the day and caring only for her child, with no self care. (Her daughter is now 12, so when Krista was home with her as a newborn, she didn’t even have texting as a way of easily touching base with friends.) Phone calls were of course difficult with a newborn. Krista found herself counting the minutes until her husband came home, when she would “hand off” her daughter and go watch TV alone as her self care. She found she was either neglecting her own needs or her daughter’s depending on the time of day.

Krista used the narrative of Genesis 1-3 as the foundation for her description of balance. This text provides us with permission (from God!) to value balance in our everyday lives. Her framework for introducing balance into your everyday life included three C’s:

            Creativity: How are you incorporating creativity into your life? The beginning of the Bible describes a creative act. Creativity allows us to express ourselves, remind us of our unique identity and talents, and follow a natural need to generate something that was not there before. There are as many ways to be creative as there are moms. Maybe you like to cook, maybe you journal, or scrapbook, or garden, or decorate, or enjoy dressing your kids in stylish outfits. Whatever you find energizing and an expression of you, you have permission and encouragement from God to make this a part of your day.

            Collaboration: How are you connecting with others who can give you encouragement, energy, wisdom, or a listening ear?  God made Eve as a helper, or collaborator, for Adam, so collaborating is built into the initial design of human relationship. You are already collaborating by participating in MOPS. Be mindful of how else you are connecting with others in ways that support you, and don’t just require energy with no return. Also keep in mind that your connection with others, be it asking a question, listening, or texting the latest hilarious (or frustrating) thing your toddler did is a way of providing them with balance as well. Your seeking collaboration may give the other person a chance to be creative or contribute.

            Contribution: In what ways are you contributing your unique talents to your family and your greater community?  Eve means “life” or “life-giving,” or “mother of all who have life.” Everyone has a need to contribute in some way. You may volunteer, participate in your child’s school, or work outside the home. Again, there are countless ways to contribute.

Along the lines of contribution, Krista also pointed out that the energy we have, be it frustrated or angry or happy or grateful, effects people around us in a five foot radius. So, if you are out of balance, your energy will be effecting those closest to you even if you are trying to hold it all together. Gratitude is the most balancing emotion, and she gave a demonstration of how purposefully thinking about gratitude literally makes you steadier on your feet. She encouraged us to build a practice of gratitude into our days. There are many ways to do this, from writing down one or more things you are grateful for at the beginning or end of the day, to sharing around the dinner table one thing you are grateful for, to including thanks in your prayer, etc.

Krista also encouraged us to think of those activities that make us feel more balanced as priorities. Activities that are “just for us” so easily slip to the end of the to-do list. She gave us an illustration describing a large jar, large stones, and pebbles. If you put all the pebbles (all the many small urgent tasks you feel you have to do throughout the day) in the jar before the large stones (important tasks -self-care, creativity, collaboration, contribution) the large stones won’t fit in the jar. If you put the large stones in first, then add the pebbles, the pebbles will settle into the jar around the stones, and they all will fit.

Later in the day MOPS mom Laura Jackson shared her creative expression for the day, a lovely representation of this urgent vs. important task message Krista shared:

Resources:

Waking the Dead by John Eldredge

Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn

Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life by Glennon Doyle Melton

www.momastery.com