Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Zach Brittle::Minding the P's and Q's of Your Marriage

//Remember: if you missed the meeting, or simply want to hear those wise words again, click on the link to your right ("UPC Audio Player") to find the speaker's talk. Happy listening!

WELL. I'd say our speaker kick-off last Tuesday got us off to a good start. Zach Brittle threw us into the deep end of the pool by discussing marriage and the way we look at those precious relationships. He challenged us to consider the meaning of marriage (with the help of the letter "P") through the lens of these three elements:
  • Phases
    • What phase are you in? What phases have you been in and how did you come through them? And where do you need permission, to argue, to dream, to lean in right now? And who needs to give that to you? God, your husband, or some other authority? 
  • Perspective
    • Where do you need to reset your perspective? To step back and see the bigger picture? You've been through phases before and they've passed, so you need to actively pursue a new perspective with the experience of the past that it will pass.
  • Processes 
    • It's important to be building processing skills, like learning how to ask questions and turn toward each other to build your friendship. How are you building your friendship? How are you managing conflict? What are you aware of in yourself? What's one thing you can change? What processes do you have in place that allow you to dream?

That's a lot of questions. But hopefully he prompted us to look deeper into our marriages and examine these important pieces.

And finally, my favorite quote Zach gave us about parenthood/marriage/life:
"It doesn't get better, it just gets different. It's always this."--Zach Brittle
Amen, brother.

Resources
The Relationship Alphabet by Zach Brittle
Intimate Mystery by Dan Allender
Mr. Peanut by Adam Ross
What Makes Love Last by John Gottman
 

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