Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Brene Brown::The Power of Vulnerability

In case you missed our last meeting, we watched Brene Brown's viral TED talk "The Power of Vulnerability." She's witty, she's relateable, and she inspires fascinating introspection. What is it about whole-hearted people? Let's find out.

Watch it! You won't be disappointed!



Further Discussion
  1. Brene Brown says, "In order to have connection, we have to allow ourselves to be seen." Where in your life are you struggling to be seen?
  2. Vulnerability requires giving up control. Sometimes, we value the illusion of control over connection. How does the urge to control create barriers for connection in your life?
  3. How do you think that living a whole-hearted life would change your parenting? You marriage?

Monday, March 19, 2018

Debbie Symons::Kids+Faith

Debbie is a wife, mother, long-time church-goer, and former MOPS mentor mom. We love her. And we really love it when she takes the time to share her wisdom on how we can grow our kid's faith. Really, what will make their faith stick? As we navigate this world with tiny people, we are all praying and hoping that anything we're doing is gonna leave a mark...Debbie gave us practical advice and comforting anecdotes that reminded us that no one is perfect (least of all Christians, ahem) and we're probably doing better than we think we are.


 Click HERE for the recording of Debbie's talk.
Enjoy!
 
How will my child(ren)'s faith...
  • become real?
  • grow?
  • become his/her own?
  • stick?
Well, all you have to do is...
  • conduct morning devotions
  • pray together every single night without exception
  • play Christian music
  • framed verses on the wall
  • attend church every week on time
JUST KIDDING
 
Guys, these things are good, yes. But they are not imperative to raising kids of faith. Books and blogs (not this one) and articles can make you feel like you're doing it all wrong. In reality, if you're worried about it at all, chances are good that you're already doing things that will leave a mark on your children. Take heart--you are already doing things that are leaving an impact.
 
FUN FACT: There are about 1,000 weeks from birth to launching off to college. Whoa! You can either see that as a long time or a short time, but either way, it's a finite amount of time to have influence over them. Where to start?
 
Relationships
  • with God
  • with your spouse
  • with kids
  • with others
Yes, there is a degree of dysfunction in every family. No one is perfect, and still connection with this list is needed. God uses us to tell his story, even in our mess. To demonstrate His power, His love, and His goodness through our imperfections.
 
Also, let's be encouraged by the fact that there aren't a ton of  "perfect parents" in the Bible. Noah, Abraham, Jacob, David, etc. all had their challenges with their kids. BIG challenges (more than dealing with picky eaters and tantrums). Even on our worst day, let's remember that all us parents are  just trying our best and need God.
 
In today's world, it's easy to fall into one of two traps: "What can I GIVE to my kids" and "what can I DO for my kids?" But are we really focusing on what is developing inside of our children? And what legacy we're leaving them?
  • We want them to be socially adept, experientially rich, and academically well-rounded.  
  • That's not all bad, but there's a balance. It's important to keep that balance in mind.  
  • Am I robbing my children of what really makes them come alive? Like time with me and relationships in favor of running around to All The Things. 
Not only can that lead to burnout early in life, but there's a risk of becoming relationally poor to be experientially rich.

You gotta leave room for God. 

Build Community
  • Consistency on Sundays/Sunday community
  • family camp
  • volunteering on a team (Sunday school)
  • small family group 
    • those families/caring adults are invested in your kids' lives 
 They see you involved, so it's automatic to them.

Serve in Community
  • with your small group (Easter Cheer, mini missions)
    • Their serving alongside someone who isn't you
  • Intergenerational mission trip
  • summer mission for kids 
  • kids discover their niche/gifts
    • maybe they teach Sunday school
    • encouraged by their adult team members
Nurture Community
  •  5 to 1--5 adults investing in my child's life
No matter what, it's all about God and his grace and what He's doing in their life. Your kids have a front row seat to God's presence in your life as an example of who He can be in their life. 
Ask God to show you those encouraging things where things are moving. Because they are.

Further Discussion
  • How do you build relationships within your family?
  • Within your community?
  • Is there something you would like to tryout/change?
Resources 
Think Orange by Reggie Joiner

Monday, March 5, 2018

Scott + Marisa Gronholz::Marriage

I am more than a little sad to say that because of the silly flu, I missed hearing this talk in person. BUT lucky for us, it was recorded! So go ahead and pour some coffee with me and we'll listen together.


 Click HERE for the recording of Scott and Marisa's talk.
Enjoy!

[Note: Just as a heads up, the audio can get a bit quiet during their talk. Be ready with earbuds for the most direct sound-to-ear listening!]

Mentor Mom Panel

These ladies need no introduction. They sit among us every other week, offering encouragement and prayer, insight and baby-holding. Every year they gather at the front and graciously answer our questions with comforting honesty.  Without further ado, lets revisit their their nuggets of knowledge.

On favorite family traditions:
  • Share Christmas Eve with neighbors, especially if you are without local family. Neighbors become your family!
  • Act out the Christmas story. Get the little ones in on it. If you have an ancient chapel on your country property that's been in the family for generations, even better. 
  • Take the long way to a local hotel and spend the weekend. The kids will think they're on a distant adventure!
  • Family reunions
  • Celebrate St. Valentine's Day w/ Secret Valentines (like Secret Santa) and a special dinne
  • Vacation with long-time friends and their families. This tradition can go on for years.
  • Easter egg hunt for the whole family (even the 80-year-olds). 
  • Everyone gets clues for their last Christmas present. A scavenger hunt helps slow it all down!
On proud Mom Moments:
  • Adventurous parenting style...always going to museums, the beach, the zoo. Also, exposed them to real life.
  • Didn't yell...got angry, yes, but kept the voice down. 
  • Home organization
  • Grace.
  • Parented with the husband.
  • Always available.
  • Lots of prayer...mornings in prayer, nights in prayer, seeking God's good grace and praying for the family.
  • Activities that were fun for all and gave everyone life, not just the kids (i.e. walking, being outside, etc.)
On making time for yourself as a mom:
  • Don't be afraid to hire/ask for help! See those opportunities as NAB them--get away for the day and breathe!
  • Go out with friends. 
  • Bible study (hire a babysitter for your small group so you can focus), Bible Study Fellowship or Community Bible Study (both have childcare)
  • Create a co-op playgroup...four moms, rotating childcare duties so three moms had a free morning. 
  • Quiet time every day, for the kids and yourself
  • Grab some dessert and catch up with your husband after the kids area in bed. Play games and connect.
  • Accept help from those who offer. 
  • Create a routine out of something you enjoy (i.e. walk regularly with a walking buddy)
On making time for marriage:

  •  It's easy to be distracted by everything else, but make time for it! Or you'll regret it.
  • Get up early and sit in the hot tub. 
  • Make a regular date night...the kids can come to expect it and see Mom and Dad making their relationship a priority.
  • To make a date night possible, enlist friends who are currently sans kids as childcare. Or for friends with kids, trade! 
  • Take time away. Make it frequent and make it varied. Remember why you like each other.
  • Remember it gives your kids the opportunity to foster relationships with the other people (caregivers) in their lives. 
On relationships with in-laws:
  • Examine expectations. It can be complicated because you make it complicated and are disappointed at the outcome. What can help grow good relationships? Listening to their stories and trying to understand.
  • There is only one person you can change in a relationship and you can't change a relationship you are not in. Look for the things that are positive among the difficult. Choose what you take away and learn.
  • For those long-distant in-laws, it can take time for both you your kids to know them well. But you will. 
And, of course, we wanted their recipes! Check this one out--a fan favorite...
Fiesta Chicken Soup
Recipe By: Myra

Ingredients:
1 chopped onion
2 cloves minced garlic
1 Tablespoons Vegetable oil
1 31 oz can refried beans
2 14.5 oz cans petite diced tomatoes
1 14.5 oz can petite diced tomatoes w/ mild green chilis
14.5 ounces chicken broth
4 cups chopped cooked chicken (rotisserie chicken, anyone?)
6 corn tortillas

Directions:
Saute onion and garlic in hot oil till tender.  Add beans and all other ingredients (but tortillas), bring to a boil, and simmer for 15 minutes.

Top with cilantro, sour cream, and Monterrey jack

optional - tortillas (or chips)
Cut tortillas into strips and grease.  Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Or just use chips. Really.