You can follow
Becky’s writing at the following spaces:
Here is a summary of
what Becky had to share with us:
We are rest averse as a society We take pride is “we are so
busy!” but in some cultures, the response to this would be: “I’m sorry!”
Idleness is not a vacation or indulgence. It is as
indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body.
Matthew 11:20-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For
my yoke is easy and my burden is light. “
Becky’s three main
points:
1)
Mothering is stressful! Uninterrupted stress is
traumatic.
2)
Mothers without rest will pass on trauma.
3)
Rest is a discipline.
Mothering is Stressful! Uninterrupted stress is traumatic
Uninterrupted stress has consequences for the body and
brain:
-Stress
hormones cortisol and adrenaline degrade the immune system, which can increase
physical illness and lead to depression, as well as being possibly linked to
Alzheimer’s.
-Stress also leads to a decrease in
growth hormones, which intensifies the effects of aging (think about how
differently the President looks after four years in office).
-Stress decreases the effectiveness
of the frontal lobe, which is the part of the brain responsible for regulating
emotions.
Mothers without rest will pass on trauma to their kids
The Greek translation of trauma refers to a wound, hurt, or
defeat
Becky’s story
Her mom grew up during the depression, and her mom’s father
died when Becky’s mom was 13. Her mom was fortunate to find full time work as a
social worker, but this left Becky’s mom to care for her younger siblings as
well as take care of the household. Becky’s great grandmother lived somewhat
nearby her mom during this time, and was a source of comfort for her mom, but
was busy taking care of more than a dozen farmhands. So, Becky’s mom’s role
model was someone who was constantly busy cooking for a huge group of people.
As a result of her childhood, Becky’s mom wanted to be constantly busy and was
intensely harsh and critical with Becky and her siblings. Becky remembers
screaming and name calling from her mom, and did not hear that her mother had
been proud of her until someone told her at her mother’s funeral. Becky came away from this relationship with
fear and critical language internalized towards herself, but also an ability to
tolerate being very busy.
Rest is a discipline
You can repair the effects of stress with short exercises,
for example taking time to do mindful deep breathing. Becky led a short
demonstration of deep breaths using a simple guided visualization of breathing
to hands moving around a clock face.
The brain needs time to recharge and integrate data.
Research into the habits of exceptional artists and athletes shows times
dedicated to rest. Children who have been traumatized have decreased
hippocampus size, but incorporating rest can lead to growth of this area of the
brain. Meditation and visualization have
been shown to boost activity in the frontal lobe.
Making rest a daily practice is counterculture! Becky pointed out Psalm 46:10, which reads: “Be
still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be
exalted in the earth.” She also pointed us to the quote “rushing is of the
devil.” She encouraged us to take time with God outside of our own agenda. When
we take time to be present in ourselves, we can be present to others, which is
a gift to the world. She encouraged us to ask ourselves “Am I living in a
residence of love?” Or, to find a question that is our own reminder cue to
point us towards being more present.
The following points came up during Q&A:
-Watching TV is not rest.
-You can start with just breathing exercises.
-Your children will remember your tone after you are gone.
-Go to the little self within you, and ask what kind of
treatment did you/do you need?
