There is no recording of this meeting in order to allow our mentor moms complete freedom to be honest! Hopefully my notes come close to helpful. ;)
On Personal Care/Staying Grounded
- With kids at home all day and no break or quiet time to pray, jumping on the trampoline for 20 minutes provides exercise and a space to talk to God.
- Be diligent about quiet time, for you and the kids. Reading some Oswald Chambers and Jesus Calling helps keep the connection with God.
- Involvement with neighborhood Bible study or Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) helps keep the focus on a relationship with God and connection with friends (plus, childcare!)
- Hire help!
- Jog and be alone with your thoughts
- A co-op with a group of friends--rotate childcare with four friends and you find yourself with three mornings a month all to yourself!
- Ground rules for time together: no talk of kids or schedules, just focus on each other
- Join a small group with families
- Two words: hot tub.
- Date night: make it so routine, even your kids expect it
- Ask single friends to babysit
- Volunteer in ministry together. This provides the unique opportunity to see each other develop gifts and affirm each other
- Marriage retreats/weekends
- Couples groups: find your people! They get you through!
- In the morning, ask your husband what his day looks like. Then, follow up at night. It shows interest and consideration.
- Say "thank you" for things. Offer kindness and gratitude
- Greet him at the door with a kiss
- Give him affirmation every day. When you compliment him, watch his reaction. They thrive on it.
- Practice the "six second kiss"
- Practice sensitivity to negotiating transition times: when he comes home or when you leave, be intentional about transitioning well
- Honor different family traditions
- Get to know them individually; you'll likely get a different picture and see a different side than who you thought they were
- Include the in-laws/parents in activities with your family other than childcare
- Gather both sides of the family together for the holidays. The kids get both sets around and love it. Having everyone together is a gift to them.
- Model love and family: little eyes are watching
- Manage your expectations. They're less likely to disappoint you if you recalibrate.
- Get to know them and hear their stories to understand where they're coming from. This develops compassion.
- Honor them by visiting them or hosting them (if they're from out of town)
- Going on "trips:" pack up the family, make a big circle around town, end up at the Holiday Inn by your house to spend a weekend swimming in the pool and ordering room service.
- Play worship music
- Pray at meals and bedtime
- Keep faith present in daily life
- Be authentic and pray in the hard moments
- Pray with your husband once a day, no matter when you can fit it in
- Maybe they wont' be friends when they're young, but don't give up! Chances are, they'll be good friends when they grow up
- Play "safe" games where everyone participates and the family is a team (i.e. no one is "against" each other)
- Don't compare them. 'Nuff said.
- Have the kids share bedrooms. They have to work things out and make boundaries, but they also have fun
- Celebrate their individual personalities and differences
- Extend grace. "You did the best you could with what you knew. When you knew more, you did better."
- Take advantage of opportunities of the moment when they come
- You have a new chance every day. Don't be guilt-ridden. Move on.
- KEEP THE MARRIAGE CENTRAL
