Noticing Goodness:: Guest Blogger

Once upon a time, our own Eva Jennings got up in front of everyone and shared about how she'd be practicing "noticing goodness" in her life. Before we begin another facet of our theme at our next meeting, Eva is graciously allowing me to post her beautiful and thoughtful opening here as a refresher for us all. 

....... 

Since we are starting to explore the “Noticing Goodness” part of our Fierce Flourishing theme today, I wanted to share some of my recent thoughts and experience on noticing goodness. I recently came across an article in a MOPS magazine by a man named James Bryan Smith. The article starts with a story:

"When my friend John took on a new and very demanding role in ministry, he called Dallas Willard for advice. (Dallas Willard was a philosophy professor at USC) With pen and notepad in hand, John was ready to write down a half dozen or more key things. Dallas began by saying 'Ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.' John wrote it down.

'Okay. What’s next?' queried John.

'There is no next. Just do that, John, and you’ll be fine.'

The author continues…

"Why is eliminating hurry from our lives so crucial? When we eliminate hurry we become present… to the present moment in all of its glory. We become aware of our surroundings. We see colors and smell smells; we hear hushed sounds and can actually feel the wind in our faces. In short, we 'show up' and experience the fullness of life.... Hurry is not part of a well-lived life."

By nature, I am not a hurrier. I like to live in the moment. When I read a book, I savor each word, enjoying the sound of it in my head before moving on. When I wash the dishes, I take my time, getting each bubble of soap off of the dish, then watching the water drip from the dish before placing it on the rack (I turn the water off in between dishes).

Unfortunately, life with two young kids encourages a whole lot of hurry. I often feel the need to rush through sweet moments, to get back to the tasks that I think I need to accomplish. I don’t think this is what life is supposed to be about.

One of my New Year’s resolutions this year is to spend at least 15 minutes every day playing with my kids. Not just spending time with them while cooking or cleaning or gardening, but actually involving my whole body and mind in the play. In these moments of play, something magical happens. I laugh more. I revel in the creative process that is engrossing my kids, rather than focusing on the mess that they are making. Simply put, we all have fun and feel lighter for it.

For those of you like me who like to hear the science behind the benefits of eliminating hurry, I’ll leave you with a piece of inspiration from the magazine Real Simple:

"Washing dishes can reduce a person’s levels of stress and anger by 27%! Researchers had 51 college students tackle the chore, asking some to really focus on the act (the scent of the soap, the warmth of the water, how the dishes felt) while leaving others to just do it. Afterward, the subjects completed reports relating to mindfulness, inspiration and stress. Those who had solely concentrated on washing the dishes experienced a 27% reduction in nervousness and bad feelings, and enjoyed a 25% boost in mental inspiration. The distracted dish-washers experienced nothing."

Ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life. :)

                                                                       --Eva Jennings

Krista Law:: Anxiety + Depression

At our last meeting, fan-favorite Krista Law, LMHC, spoke about anxiety and depression. Krista is a local therapist who herself struggled with postpartum depression and invites us all to look at our own tendencies without fear or shame. She's always refreshingly honest, understanding, and wise when addressing such a sensitive topic. And FUNNY. I could listen to her all day, and always wish I could invite her over for dinner so we could become best friends, BUT something stops me...probably the threat of a restraining order.

Click HERE for the recording of Krista's talk. And for those of you joining us from work and can't listen, a summary is included below. Enjoy!

Anxiety:

• "I need full control. If I don't do it, no one will."
• Feels tight, fast, wound, spinning. It appears as perfectionism and restlessness. 
• This is when you feel like the only one to govern everything on your plate.

Depression: 

• "I have no control." 
• Slow, loose, non-commital, lack of energy, trouble sleeping/weird sleeping schedule
• Gloom, lack of pleasure and don't enjoy things you used to

How does this happen?

A: You were in a family with no control, you had to care for yourself, were not remembered or seen.

A presence of anxiety= an absence of care.

D: Presence of criticism, nothing's good enough so you resign, constant critique. 

Vacillating between the two looks like being ready for perfection, only to fall short and resign to "it's not going to work."

This can happen daily.

But.

What was the intent for us?

See Genesis 1,2, & 3. 

//We've been given a charge, an authority to engage in our lives. We have SOME control.

//BUT there was a tree we couldn't touch...so there's a LIMIT. Let some things go.

Look at Newton's Law of Motion: for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

...when we swing to one extreme, we are typically drawn to someone living the other extreme to achieve balance in our relationships. How does this look in our lives?

...your children are trying to create this balance, too + respond accordingly. Watch for their behaviors changing with your needs/moods as they try to care for you OR lean back as you anxiously hover.

SO.

//You have a choice.

//You need support. Someone to hear, understand and encourage.

//You need to surrender. To goodness, to "God with you and God for you." 

The benefit of doing this?

A: When you're not in full control, someone wants to (and will) help.

D: You see that you are good and have goodness in you and people are there for you in that. 

Discussion Questions/Things to Ponder:

1. Where do you find yourself most often in regards to your family? Anxious? Depressed?
2. Can you name one thing that you could give up trying to control?
3. Can you name one thing that you will make an effort to begin taking responsibility for?
4. What are some obstacles to believing that God is ultimately in control? What are some obstacles to believing that you have some control?
5. After you give something up (either anxiety/control or depression/lack of control) there will be a space--will you fill it with kindness and self-care? How so? Specifically? No, really, write down the ways you will start introducing care for yourself!

Resources: 
The Healing Path by Dan Allender
Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow
Undoing Depression by Richard O'Connor
I Love You Rituals by Becky Bailey

Referrals:
Northwest Family Life
Psychology Today
NWAPS

Krista Law, MA, LMHC

Individual & Couples Counseling

www.kristalaw.com

206.866.5083

www.3therapistswalkintoablog.com  

Marilyn Walls::Organic Food + Child Nutrition

Last Tuesday we heard from PCC's Marilyn Walls about nutrition and healthy eating. She highlighted good foods that help our bodies work and hopefully inspired moms to share tips to help our kids eat them! But never fear: if Suzie doesn't like kale, she's still a great kid and you're still a great mom. Promise.

Click HERE for the recording of Marilyn's talk. And for those of you joining us from work and can't listen, a summary is included below. Enjoy!

Basically, there are good foods out there that we should have in our diets. Like...

• Dark leafy greens:: contain B vitamins, are low in fat + calories yet high in fiber and antioxidants; chop small + add to pasta, eggs, spaghetti, soups, quesadilla, stir fry, or pizza!
• Complex carbohydrates:: balance blood sugar; healthy snacks include nuts, yogurt, carrots, apples, oatmeal, bean dip, and avocado
• Good fats:: Omega 3s are essential fatty acids that help us cognitively and promote good sleep; salmon, tuna fish, flax or fish oil in smoothies
• Blueberries:: can help improve memory + have tons of antioxidants; same goes for other dark fruits + veggies; black beans, eggplant, cranberries, red grapes
• Vitamin D:: improves immunity and is especially hard for baby to get through mom's milk (hence the drops); fatty fish, tuna fish, eggs, mushrooms, sunshine (without sunsreen)
• Probiotics:: improve immunity + digestion, good bacteria depleted by illness, digestive issues, or stress; yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, kombucha, kimchi, tempeh, or supplements
• Hydration:: water carried nutrients to all organs, transports oxygen, helps process food, nourishes skin, and regulates body temperature (sodas do not count as water); water with fresh fruit or herbs, coconut water

Why Organic?
Well, organic food has less pesticides and does not contain GMO's, growth hormones, or antibiotics

What if my kid's too picky to eat this stuff?

1. Involve them in the process! Take them shopping and include them in food prep. They want to know how things work!
2. Start early with table food. Get them comfortable with what you're eating.
3. Model good eating: food preferences are largely shaped by what parents make available
4. Make up games or cute names (i.e. brainy blueberry, power punch broccoli); say it helps you grow or makes you stronger so they are motivated by what they want.
5. Make it fun to eat! Food in shapes can go a long way. And never underestimate the power of a no-bake cookie full of good stuff.
6. Serve often! You may have to offer something 10-15 times before your child will try it.
1. "No thank you" bite
2. Offer a small tablespoon portion to not overwhelm them 

Discussion Questions/Things to Think About:

1. What are essential fatty acids and how can you get them into your children's diet?
2. What healthy nutrient do you think is the most absent from your child's diet and why?
3. Have you seen any consequences, either physically or emotionally, from what your child eats?
4. How are you as a model for your child's eating choices?

Marilyn Walls

marilyn.walls@pccnaturalmarkets.com

www.pccnaturalmarkets.com