Rebecca Hoyt:: Big Feelings in Our Small People

Parent Educator, Rebecca Hoyt, spent her morning with us and shared about how to support our little ones and their big emotions. Believe it or not, "Thinking of your child as behaving badly disposes you to think of punishment. Thinking of your child as struggling to handle something difficult encourages you to help them through distress."--Author Unknown. 

Rebecca says that "If we can radically change our thinking about misbehavior, we allow ourselves to be physically and emotionally available to our children in their most vulnerable moments. This partnering can help children navigate their way through difficult feelings and challenges rather than avoid distress."

Are you hooked yet? Click below for her full talk and be prepared to glean a ton!  
 

Click HERE for the recording of Rebecca's talk.

Enjoy!

"Instead of thinking of those big tantrums as acting out or misbehaviors, they're really an indication to us that our child has a skill deficit. It's not something they know how to do, and they need us to know how to do it."--Rebecca Hoyt

 Agitation: The gas pedal is starting to accelerate as demonstrated by frustration or opposition.
Objective: Be empathetic, establish limits to guide behavior, engage senses in a soothing way, and help problem-solve.
Skills: 

• Be present--Get close enough to be comforting but not threatening
• Stay calm--Your calm demeanor will help her feel safe
• Keep words simple--Don't flood her already overstimulated senses
• Say what you see--"You want to play with the dump truck but someone has it."
• State a limit--"We do not grab toys away from someone."
• Coach an alternative option: "Can you ask for a turn?"
• Offer a choice--"Would you like to wait for a turn or check out the slide?"
• Praise--"That was tough but you asked for a turn and it worked! She gave you the truck!"

[If trouble viewing, click here to enlarge slides.]