Take a listen, reference some notes, and remember you're not alone!
Click HERE
for the recording of Deb's talk.
Enjoy!
BODY
- When do you feel free?
SEXY: smelling, seeing, hearing, touching, breathing, tasting, lingering
The question in...can you be in your body?
NOT: fatigue, pain, distaste, numbness, distrust, body-only-goal-oriented-sex
*Understanding all of this and the challenge of it is not going away. But the more you do to have better understanding now, the better off you'll be.
BASIC NEEDS: Exercise (enough cardio to get the stress out of your body), nutrition, sleep, sunshine, play, touch, rest (question: how do you rest?)
HEART
- How's your heart? Are you stressed? Is your heart sad? joyful? full of gratitude? does it hurt?
SEXY: trusting, safe, joyful, playful, adventurous, curious, flirty, longing, empathetic, open, wow
NOT: fear, fury, fatigue
- Body's warning system: pay attention. There's something that may emotions are telling me and I need to figure out what that is. Stuffing and ignoring won't stop the feels.
MIND
- What were the messages you had growing up about sex? In church? In school? In youth group?
- Are moms allowed to be sexy? What about Mom Bodies?
- Can you enjoy your body with all the changes you've gone through? Will your brain say "yes! this is sexy!"
- As women, we gather all the rules about how to do things "right" and we will try desperately to do things "right."
- All those messages are in there.
Human Giver Syndrome--"Your needs don't matter, it's all about everyone else."
Sexy vs. Slutty--what's healthy sexy or Godly sexy?
Consumer Culture--when we put our hearts on what's unattainable
Duty sex--is it mutual, pleasurable, and connecting?
Silence
Sex is simple (not)
Sex is the same for everyone
HEALTH:
Bodies are good
I have sexual rights
Adult Sex Ed
Integrated faith and sexuality
Deconstructed myths and false beliefs
Differences between genders and sex
HEALTH
"Sex is holy because God made it holy."-- Tina Shermer Sellers
Most of us have been objectified, wounded, hurt. Some horrifically, unspeakably; others through everyday ignoring of rights. #metoo #churchtoo
We all bring that into our relationships. Acknowledge the need for healing.
BODY EXPERIMENTS
COUPLE:
- Can you linger? in a hug?
- lingering kisses
- Date (verb)-- can we find a way back?
- Quarterly overnight getaways
- Simplify
- Sabbath rest
- not getting up
- trade?
- Exercise--get the stress out of your body
- Love on your body
- bubble baths
- listen to your body
- women are notorious for ignoring body signals
- Sabbath rest
The Sexual Healing Journey, Wendy Maltz
The Joy of Intimacy, Manis Friedman and Ricardo Adler
Burn Out, Emily Nogoski and Amelia Nogoski
